Posted by: mrdmcday | April 16, 2010

Relationship Issue #4:Pursuing What Is Already Owned

The Rundown:

The title pretty much says it all. I’ve heard multiple people (mostly women, not to be sexist but that’s just how it’s played out) say that it’s fine to let a girl know how you feel about her even though she’s dating someone else. This simply makes no sense to me. It’s selfish at best, and you’re pushing your way into what is presumably a healthy relationship. That certainly doesn’t do good things for a relationship. Biblical answers would be encouraged.

The Response:

Now I’m still learning but, nowhere in the text, have I seen such actions. The thing you’re touching upon with this question is a little thing that I like to call “Rationalizing Sin”.

“Ok. Don’t look don’t look. Fine. I’ll look but I won’t touch. I’ll touch…but I won’t taste. I’ll taste but…”

By the time the fool done figured out what he or she has gotten themselves into, 9 times out of 10, their already at the other person’s place about to partake or are already partaking in something they shouldn’t.

I believe you are correct in your standing. A lot of of people are simply to weak to resist what they see with their eyes. And, a good example of a man justifying this type of lust is David (A powerful man, slayer of Goliath, just happened to see a baaaaaad mamma jamma taking a bath one night and, before you know it, he was killing husbands and doing cover-ups) AND HIS FOLKS TOLD HIM SHE WAS TAKEN!

In the end, pursuing something that you know is taken can only end with disaster. Either you get caught or you slide right on by- physically/emotionally attached to someone you don’t even love. Not to mention, you might have to kill someone so your peoples don’t find out. (Little joke about David. No? Eh…Whatever!)

Anyways, I hope you continue to seek more spiritual guidance. I’m doing the same thing and have heard this argument as well. Even without biblical knowledge, it just lacks sense. Why in the world would anyone choose to be second? (Shrugs)

I believe David’s story is in 2nd Samuel, 11th Chapter. If I’m wrong, charge it to my head-not my heart-and correct me. Hope this helps.



  1. You know I was gonna retort based on the fact that you are more so speaking to people who are in committed relationships rather than being married. And I was gonna say how in the bible, it doesnt really speak of courtship cause you’re either single or married. But being in a committed relationship is still a commitment. And the Bible does say “its better to have not made a vow at all, than to make a vow and not keep it”. Not just talkin about a vow of marriage. The Bible also says that covetting your neighbor is a sin too. So…I guess it is wrong. So much for playin devils advocate.

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