Posted by: mrdmcday | April 16, 2010

Relationship Issue #1: Guys Confuse Me

The Rundown:

Okay so my boyfriend (dating for six months and we are both 22) comes over to my house and does random ishh on his computer…like last nite, he came over and started doing random ish on his computer and doing an essay that he didn’t even have to start doing yet. My mom has been on vacation for a week and she’s coming back tomorrow. This was basically our last nite together alone in my house because he has to work tonite and he was just plain rude…

I always try to make sure he eats something and I help him study for tests and with his homework just because that’s how I am. He does none of the same things for me. he’s my first boyfriend.. we have a lot of fun together and we are very compatible, share a lot of the same interests and the sex is crazy good. he is actually very sweet during sex… but i dunno. what do you think??

I was disappointed in him still this morning when we woke up and I didn’t hug him when he left and he got mad. he doesn’t get it….. how can i make him understand how he’s making me feel?? I don’t feel important to him… isn’t he supposed to want to make me happy and when he comes over to see me shouldnt he be more attentive to me and not just on his computer??? Or is that just how guys are…..

The Response:

This entire time, you’ve never mentioned communication-a crucial element to any relationship. If you aren’t comfortable talking to the guy, you definitely shouldn’t be having sex with him-as that signifies that you trust him enough with your body.

Anyways, I would figure that, in YOUR house, he’d bother to be more attentive. I can understand your point. But, in ignoring you, he may be doing so on purpose because of something you’ve done-a somewhat childish maneuver to make you feel guilty or confused-we do that sometimes instead of talking. Just internalize it.

Relationships, while it may sound cliché-ish, are a game of give in take-a partnership. If you’re carrying all the luggage, what he is doing besides sitting around reaping all the benefits?

Helping for tests? Feeding him? Letting him come to your house? And none of this is reciprocated? This is not looking good…

Talk to him. Seriously. It’s been 6 months and you guys are physically intimate-which is a big deal. I don’t want to be quick to say you’re being used but it’s a possibility-one that you’re going to have to see is true or not.

Talk to the guy, put all your concerns on the table, and then find ways to address said concerns. If it works, it won’t be the last time you have a “roundtable discussion”. Sometimes, people need to vent and get stuff out-that’s what relationships are about.

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