Posted by: mrdmcday | March 7, 2010

Men Want Love too…

I’ve recently been studying women and the way they treat themselves/others. It’s been a really interesting experience just conversing with them and finding out just how people think nowadays.

But, for a minute, I’ve tried to have that same type of intrigue for men. But it just wasn’t there. Not until tonight.

Sometime last year I believe, Soulja Boy release a video titled “Pretty Boy Swag”.

My first reaction: A male proclaiming himself to be pretty with half his video being absent of women?


So I returned to the loveliness that is Facebook and posed the question: How do ladies feel when their guy friends or boyfriends say that they are pretty?

Do they feel as if they have to compete to be prettier?

Nikki Branch, a friend of mine here on Facebook. shared the same feelings-asking what kind of relationship has a man and woman in competition with one another in terms of “Who’s prettier?”

When the typical attributes of the modern-day man are thought of, it’s safe to say that “pretty” is definitely not one of them. While the word pretty doesn’t even have an ounce of masculine ambience to it, by definition the word means “attractive in a delicate way”.

So now I’m even more confused. The self-proclaimed best rapper alive via youtube that was talking about being like “A dog off the leash” is now clubs screaming, “I’m pretty boy swaggin’ in the club, I feel sexy.”


The definition goes on to say “…without being truly beautiful or handsome.”

So, in theory, there are a handful of men claiming to be a delicate flowers with no real attractive qualities. In an effort to make the difference between attractive and pretty, imagine a new born baby. He or she will most definitely be pretty in sight considering that babies are by far the most delicate creatures in the world. But babies aren’t looked upon as…”attractive”. They aren’t pleasing to the eye in that realm. They’re “cute”.

So, with that in mind, guys are clearly unaware of exactly what they’re saying when they say they are pretty but this song, somehow, has a hidden message to me. While it is just another classic example of a man objectifying women, somewhere in that song, I heard a cry for help.

If you’re a guy, just for a moment, drop the armor. All of it. Every defensive mechanism within your masculine structure-drop it. Now go look in the mirror. Are you pleased with what you see?

Now while many men may look upon this as being “feminine” or “soft”, it’s safe to say that men worry about their appearance greatly, perhaps just as much as women do. If you don’t think so, take a look at superheroes.

Joint with cleft chins, shiny hair, and muscle on top of muscle, superheroes have always been the role models of young men. Superman is a blatant example of how superheroes can have an extremely enduring, symbolic influence on a people. While his symbol has been somewhat tainted with a few twisted, modern concepts (Soulja Boy’s Superman), the fact that guys still want to resemble them remain present in most of our actions.

So, when a guy claims to be pretty, could it be that he just wants to be accepted. Could he be that guy who believes that he couldn’t pass for handsome? Is this a glaring sign of self-doubt; a incognitos way to shield his pride?

Maybe he’s not brave enough to declare himself handsome or attractive. Maybe an individual of the opposite sex saying that he’s cute or pretty will be just enough to get him by. After all, why should he feel confident in himself when much isn’t expected of him? The traditional ways of men being the confident pursuers are seldom seen now. Some women, in their own pursuit of power, have inherited a trait about themselves that was predominantly seen in men. No longer are they the deer for us to chase after. They’ve become more bold and, even further, they’ve turned the tables-we’re the ones that are for the pinning down-Not them.

Now I’m old fashioned, but I’ve realized that, if done properly, women taking what they want isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But, when the majority of women have become so callus, can a man really hope to expect love or compassion from them as opposed to being shot down and humiliated?

No man wants to have a shot at their manhood publicly displayed so maybe, just maybe, this classification is a reflection of the male population accepting that they really aren’t much to care for and, that if they can pass with being deemed cute or pretty, it’ll be that pseudo life-support system that’ll help them linger on without the real thing they desire…


This is DeAndré McDay hoping that you’ve been encouraged, enlightened, and empowered. Until next time folks, be blessed and take care!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: